It’s 12:30am, and the house is quiet. Annika is sleeping in her crib, due to wake up in 30 minutes for her next feed. Jyotsna has been sleeping for the last couple of hours at least, as the night time tends to be my strong suit and mornings hers. That being said, I’m feeling my eyes heavy with sleep and I’m fighting it. I can stay up for half an hour or so, clean her up and get her ready for her next feeding.
The past two weeks have escaped me in so many ways. It’s hard to believe it’s only been two weeks since she’s come. Since then we’ve had a gamut of experiences, almost all of them good. She’s gained a pound from her birth weight in less than two weeks, which is phenomenal. She’s an eater, this one. We’ve had family come and go and come again. The nights and days have blended together in my mind, as I really can’t tell you what I did yesterday as compared to today without prompting. I’ve learned more about myself as well. For example, realizing how truly basic to my nature my need for privacy and alone time is. I’m recharged by silence and solitude, which are precious commodities in a house with a newborn and family and visitors. Finding a balance between necessity and sanity has been my challenge. It shall continue to be so. I’ve felt an insatiable urge to increase the stability (most notably financial) for our family. I feel close to my friends who have children, for reasons that are obvious. I feel closer than ever to Jyotsna, as we work together to try to parent and deal with Annika in the best way possible.
I wish there was a better way for me to aggregate my various online presences. I have Facebook, of course, which tends to be my public face since friends, work colleagues, and family have access to most of the content on there. (Friend me on facebook, please, if you’re reading this and also not on there – that’s just weird.I also tend to post short updates there rather than here, simply because it’s easier. I now have a blog/picture site for Annika (baby.mo-shah.com, please check it out if for some odd reason you’re not my facebook friend and didn’t see it there.) I have Linked-In, which tends to be more work related. Then, most interestingly, I have livejournal. I’ve been on here for almost 8 years, and I now have a collection of friends that I more or less feel comfortable sharing my more inner thoughts and feelings. (Although I feel like there’s a trim coming there as well, if my thinking continues along the lines they have been.) It is odd, my livejournal friend collection. There are those I know “in real life” that I absolutely trust and respect . My “real” friends, if you get the distinction. Then there are those of you who I haven’t really met physically. Yet, because of history and maybe because of the relatively anonymity, I don’t feel constrained writing down things that I don’t want other people to know. Odd, that.
My point? I don’t even know. What day is it again?